Surrogacy was widely debated earlier this year, when singer-songwriter Shane McAnally and his ‘husband’ Michael Baum shared a video of their surrogate born baby saying the word ‘mama’ in response to a question about whether he wanted ‘dada’ or ‘pops.’ The video shows the two men laughing at the baby saying, ‘there is no mama.’
The baby boy is too young to ask for his mother, but the video quite rightly received considerable backlash from viewers, to the apparent astonishment of the two men who have parental responsibility for the child. The men’s response and their inability to realise that a baby needs its mother is indicative of the profound selfishness of surrogacy – surrogacy works for the adults who want a baby, but tragically fails to consider the needs of the child.
In a surrogacy arrangement, a woman carries a baby to term and then hands that baby over to another couple to raise as their own. Surrogacy might be sought after by a same sex couple or a male-female couple who experience infertility. In the case of a same sex couple they choose a surrogate and provide sperm for artificial insemination – making the surrogate the genetic parent. Notably, this makes it a surrogacy arrangement. If a baby were conceived naturally, without artificial insemination, the father would just be the father automatically. In UK law, the mother is the legal parent until she signs a ‘parental order’ and the intended parents take on parental responsibility.
Surrogacy represents just how disturbed some people’s understanding of the family has become. For a society to accept that it is praiseworthy for a baby to be separated from its mother and handed over to two strangers, indicates what little regard we have for the needs of mothers, children, and the importance of the family unit.
The negative effect on children is well documented. Psychologist Nancy Verrier wrote a book called ‘The Primal Wound’ in which she elucidated the impact of maternal separation on children. The consequences are stark. The bond between mother and child begins in utero — the baby hears her heartbeat and voice, and is nourished by nutrients taken from her own blood. In return, foetal cells rush to parts of the mother’s body that require healing. DNA from her baby can be found inside the mother’s cells forever. Once a baby is born, close contact with the mother regulates their body temperature and nervous system. The way in which a baby’s nervous system is regulated by their mother has a lasting impact on the way in which a child responds to stress.
These are just some of the ways in which the mother-child bond is essential. There are of course tragic circumstances where a separation is necessary, but to arrange it on purpose is an unconscionable wickedness.
Surrogacy is clearly bad for the child and it is also bad for wider society. The existence of surrogacy enculturates a disconnect between parents and children which undermines the very nature of the natural family unit. It creates a scenario where families can be contracted into existence at the expense of the natural parent-child bond.
Ultimately, surrogacy is a children’s rights issue and must be banned. There is plenty of legal precedent for this — throughout much of the world surrogacy is illegal. It is illegal in France because of a deeply held fundamental belief that human life cannot be subject to a contract. French Civil Code Section 16-7 states:
“any agreement concerning procreation or gestation for the benefit of another person is null and void.”
This is a fundamentally sane point of view which considers the intrinsic value of human life and frames surrogacy as a contract or trade between two interested parties. Due to concerns about the commodification of human life, the exploitation of women and the need to protect children, there are similar laws making surrogacy illegal in Italy, Spain, Switzerland and Germany.
It is striking then that surrogacy is so highly regarded and well supported by the UK Government. It is deeply troubling that the Government has so little regard for the rights and welfare of the most vulnerable members of our society – preborn children and new babies. It speaks volumes that the Government views the family unit as something that can be willed into existence through contracts and laws, rather than a natural state for the raising of children.
ParentPower Team
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